You Must be Mrs Hotchner
by KLCM1
Summary: A collection of moments where Jessica thinks about her role as Jack's caregiver and her relationship with Aaron. Christmas one-shot now up.
1. Say My Name

Jessica sat in the back of her SVU, hatch open, with her laptop open, trying to focus on the numbers. The happy screams and shouts of Jacks practice provided background to her clacking keys. She was thankful that her job allowed her to work from anywhere. This is not how she imagined her life; taking care of a son that would never be hers.

She smiled in spite of the pain. How naïve was she to believe that she could take care of Jack not get hurt in the process? She had jumped at the chance to take care of Jack after her sister died. Being close to Jack was a way to keep part of her alive. When the marriage was falling apart, Jessica thought Haley was exaggerating and just tired from having a toddler all day. It couldn't be that bad to have him travel for work. Jessica tried to stay as neutral as possible during the divorce, she had always gotten along with him. She understood it was frustrating, a particular birthday coming to mind, but it was something he loved. What she thought be babysitting was becoming a full time caregiver to an adorable little boy.

At the beginning all her friends thought it was a noble thing to take in the orphan boy; little strange that she spent so many nights at her ex-brother in laws place but noble none the less. She grew tired of dealing with their not so subtle hints about Aaron being attractive and how she should go after him. She had to explain that she knew him since she was twelve; he really was like a big brother to her. She wouldn't tell them that back then she had a crush on him. One that was only made worse when, home on break from college, Haley and him walked in on her boyfriend yelling at her. Aaron was quick to defend her, getting in Greg's face and forcing him out of the house.

Her friends grew tired of her unpredictable schedule. She could have Jack at any moment if Aaron got called away. Even her friends that had kids couldn't understand how she would drop everything for Jack. Not that she minded too much. She loved getting to spend time with him. Before she knew it, even when she was on thin ice at work for calling out last minute, she couldn't say no to either of them.

If friends were hard to keep around, boyfriends were impossible. Again, no one understood her relationship with Aaron, how many nights she stayed there. Most of which it was only her and Jack, but they still thought it was strange. She couldn't really plan dates in advance, often trying to sneak in lunch of coffee dates during the day. Add having a kid to take care of with a man you haven't been married to on top of the fact that she couldn't have any of her own and it was hard to find man. She had always wanted kids; she had many memories of talking about their future families with Haley, coming up with names. She learned in her twenties that kids were a long shot, now that she's in her mid forties there was no chance.

She would just add those to her list of sacrifices: moving closer to Quantico and farther from work so she could be close to Jacks school, owning two of everything so she can keep half in each apartment, staying at a job she didn't love just because it was flexible, having a separate "Jack account" with Aaron.

The latter came into effect about 3 months into their arrangement. At first he would leave money for pizza or outings but as things at work changed and he took on more it was easier to open a joint account. Just like a nanny or stay at home mom, it held enough for all of Jacks needs; soccer cleats, field trip dues, grocery money.

The sacrifices are worth it most days. She gets to see the best moments between father and son. The kinds that make her stomach somersault ad threaten to bring up ancient feelings. The sweet goodnight calls, the goofy voices, the indulgences just because they are finally together.

Some days it hurts more than others. Like when Jack brought home is mother's day craft he made for her. It was thoughtful but it was also a punch to the gut. She was a mother when her sister should be. The worst was one morning, after he arrived home in the middle of the night, he stumble into the kitchen after the smell of coffee and toast. Her greeting of "Good morning Aaron" was met with a sleepy "Haley you are too good to me." As he rubbed his eyes she could see his face drop and his heart break as he realized it was her instead. From that day on she avoided calling him by his first name. She would trying to make it seem playful when she called "hey you" as he came in the door or ask questions through Jack instead, "I wonder what your dad would think of that?"

Sometimes the feelings for Aaron welled up without warning. They would be having a family night, the three of them, and it would feel all too real. Just her and her boys on the couch. Sometimes when returning home in the wee hours of the morning, he would make them breakfast or pick up her favorite coffee. Just little thoughtful things. He always made sure Jack said thank you for all she did for them. She would sometimes find herself hugging his pillow at night, trying to breathe him in. it left her both frustrated and comforted. The feelings were intense when Aaron started dating. She was happy he was happy. But she was overcome with jealousy and guilt. As Beth started spending more time with Jack, Jessica got less. It was hard not to feel like her family, the two most important men in her life, were being taken away. Then she would remind herself that this was her sister's husband, her sister's family, not hers.

The worst was the Christmas she was gifted a locket. Usually her presents from Jack came at Christmas with her family. A Christmas that her dad forcefully excluded Aaron from. They were generic presents: gift cards, books or movies she mentioned with him, bath stuff. About 4 years into this strange arrangement Aaron was adamant about giving gifts together just the three of them. After he had opened his usual hall of ties, travel gear and Jack made crafts, he gave her a thin box. It held a breath taking gold locket. Inside was a picture of him and Jack. It took everything she had not to start sobbing.

She knew she was lucky her and Aaron got along so well. They were a great co-parent team; leaving reminders on the fridge.

Dentist on Friday at 4. For you, not Jack

Want to chaperone the zoo on the 23rd?

 _I told Jack he could go to Billys on Saturday._

Don't forget to tip the cleaning lady.

 _Jack needs cupcakes for class._

Will you fix the sink? Or should I call the super?

They rarely had an argument. The first being when Aaron took an assignment in Pakistan. He didn't know how long he would be gone. He promised both of them that he wouldn't be directly in danger and the nature of his job would ensure good communication. But Jessica wasn't sure if she could handle this by herself for that long. And what If he never came back? Haley had only died a year and a half before. Jack couldn't lose both of them because of his job.

The second was shortly after he returned. When he did it was because of an agent, a rather dark and beautiful one at that. Jessica had her suspicions before he left for the Middle East that Aaron might be sleeping with someone. He would stay at the office a little later than usual, the smell of perfume clung to his suits. When he came back that started again and was he more than happy to let Jack spend weekends with Jessica or his friends even though he was home. There was also something about the apartment that was different after those weekends without Jack. It was like the apartment was too clean as if he was trying to hide the evidence. One night she finally had enough. She knew he would eventually move on but she wasn't going to let him pawn of his kid so he could sleep around. He should at least have the decency to be more discreet or keep it in his pants until he was ready to get serious.

"You must be Mrs Hotchner."The sound started Jessica. "Hi I'm Megan, Lee's mom. Thank you for offering to drive the boys to soccer today. It's been a little crazy getting things ready for the move." The woman smiled brightly ad patted her round belly. Jessica let her eyes linger for a moment longer than comfortable; she was trying to blink back the hurt in her eyes. "Can you believe that at my age we are having another? Have you ever considered giving Jack a sibling?"

"No, can't say that I have." She didn't bother to explain that she was just his aunt. Just the one who made sure he got to school on time, had a good dinner, got to see his friends, scared the monsters away at night. She took care of him, but she was just his aunt. She got tired of explaining it.

"Hey Jack! Good practice. Guess who called?" she tried to change the topic as the boys approached signaling the end of practice.

"Dad?"

"Yeah, he'll be home later tonight. He also said that he had the next three days off."

"Did you ask about the sleep over with Lee and Jimmy?" He looked from Jessica to Lee's mom, his eyes wide.

"Mmhmmm" Jessica nodded at his excited face. "He's excited for a boy's weekend."

"Can we make cookies tonight for him?"

"What kind?" She asked with a wink. It was easy to forget her discomfort when Jack was smiling at her.

"You're the best Aunt Jessica!" He quickly hugged her "I'm going to tell Jimmy." As he ran away she tried not look at Megan's face. She knew what she would find there: pity. Jessica turned to pack up her laptop and papers.

"I'll have Aaron call tomorrow to arrange getting Lee for the sleepover. Nice to meet you." She quickly made her way to the driver's side before Megan could say anything. A few deep breaths and a tissue later the emotions had passed. She heard the back door close and Jack's buckle click. "Ready to go home to your Dad Jack?" she said with a smile.

Jack would never know she was crying and she would go back to taking care of the best little boy. It was just another thing on her list.


	2. Good Mourning

**AN -Hi there! Some asked for more, so I decided to flesh out some of the scenes I mentioned in the first part. I should have a few more like the fight with her high school boyfriend and that Christmas.**

 **I am also working on a collection of Hotch/Prentiss one shots so look for those soon.**

Jessica rolled over to find her phone on the nightstand. Opening her eyes just enough to see the display she swiped her thumb over the alarm icon. Her head hit the pillow as she let out a sigh. Her mind started running through the list of all the things she needed to that day: take jack to school, get groceries, send that operations report, call Shelia about book club, collect her mail, do laundry and get more clothes from her place. Five months ago she thought taking Jack while Aaron traveled would mean a few sleepovers a week. Now she felt like she was running to households.

 _Uuhhh I need to get up_ , Jessica thought with a groan. She rolled out of bed and grabbed her robe off the chair in the guest room. She walked blurry eyed to the kitchen to start her morning pot of coffee. As she went about the process of measuring, grinding and scooping she blocked out her long to do it. It wasn't until she took her first sip that she let her eyes wander around the living room. Aaron should be coming back tonight and she wanted to make sure the place was clean for him. Feeding, clothing and just general care of Jack took a lot of time. But since he had only been home four days in the last three weeks, she wanted to take care of the mundane chores as well so he could spend more time with his son. One, actually more like ten, less things he had to worry about.

That's when she noticed the brief case on the desk and the coat thrown over the back of the couch. He must have gotten back in the middle of the night. An idea swept over her. She quickly turned to the stove and punched some buttons. She grabbed the carton of eggs from the fridge and the loaf of bread from the counter. If she worked fast this wouldn't cut into her morning routine too much and it would be a nice surprise for Aaron and Jack. Once everything was in the oven she peeked into Jack's room. He was still sound asleep.

Jessica hurried through her shower and scurried back to her room, carefully listening for the sounds of movement from the other bedrooms. She once again said a silent thanks for her job in the tech world and the fact that she didn't need to dress professionally for it. After tossing on jeans and a sweater she toweled her hair. A few swipes of makeup and a dollop of mousse on her curls and she was ready. Silently she crept to the kitchen to check the timer. She pulled out the griddle, turned it to low and placed some sausage patties on it.

"Hey Jack, sweetheart," she cooed with a hand on his back. "It's time to get up buddy."

He grumbled a response and rolled over. She tried again.

"Jack, if you get up I have a surprise for you."

"I doe wanna," he mumbled, rubbing the sleep from his eyes.

"Oh, I think you will 'wanna'. Your Dad came home last night and if you are real quiet we can surprise him." At the mention of his dad Jack's eyes popped open and grin spread across his face. "Would you like that?"

"What kind of surprise?"

"We can bring him breakfast," she said in a conspiratorial whisper, "but we have to be real sneaky ok?" Seeing him nod she continued. "Quick like a bunny, go to the bathroom and wash your hands. I'll get your clothes laid out then meet me in the kitchen. Ready?"

Jack darted from his bed and she went back to the kitchen to grab the breakfast tray and move a stool into the kitchen for Jack to help. Once he was dressed he came bounding into the kitchen ready to help. She scooped him up, placing his feet on the stool.

"So Jack, I made French toast and sausage. What else should we make your dad?"

"Coffee!"

"Ok, we can do that. Can you measure three scoops of this into that white filter? I'll get the water." Jack had a very determined look on his face as he counter each scoop quietly. "Good job. What else does he need?"

"Juice!" Jack almost shouted. He saw Jessica put a finger against her pursed lips and he slapped his hands over his mouth. "Opps. Juice and toast."

"Can you reach the glasses?" Jack handed her one and she placed it on the try behind her. "Thank you. What about the toaster?" Jack took the bread from her and stretched as far as his little four year old arms could reach. "There you go, push it down."

"Let's get your breakfast so we can let him sleep a little longer." Jack climbed onto a chair as she set a plate and glass of juice in front of him. Just as she was pouring a second cup of coffee she heard the shuffle of feet.

"Mmm. That coffee smells wonderful."

"Daddy! Your home!" Jack cried. "We made you breakfast!"

"Good Morning, Aaron," Jessica greeted warmly.

He reached up to rub his eyes, almost as if he couldn't believe what he saw before him. "Haley, you are too good to me."

Jessica froze. Her eyes darted from the man standing in the hallway to the little boy at the table. Thankfully Jack didn't seem to notice the use of his mother's first name. She looked back at Aaron trying to read his face. _Now would be a good time to have his profiling skills_ , she thought. A wide smile was still plastered on his face and he took a few more steps towards the kitchen. She saw his arms come up like he was going to embrace her. She scrambled backwards trying to think of her next move.

"We thought breakfast in bed would be a nice surprise, sorry to wake you up so early," she said quickly gesturing towards the tray.

The expression on his face changed quickly, from delight to confusion to heart break in the twitch of his mouth. His feet stuttered and his arms hung in mid air. She could see him tilt his head as he tried to work through what was happening. His eyes scanned her face and body, comparing what he was seeing to the voice he heard. Jessica was still again, watching for signs of distress. Finally Jack spoke up.

"Were you surprised Daddy?"

Aaron slowly turned his head towards his son. "Yeah buddy I was. You and Aunt Jessica did a good job. Thank you." He may be a master at hiding his emotions from his face and voice at work, but right now they were heavy with sorrow.

"Did you get the bad guy? Will you be home for a while? I got to play soccer yesterday when we went to the park." Jack continued to ramble about his day, oblivious to what was happening around him.

"Here, sit, eat," Jessica moved the contents of the tray to the table so father and son could enjoy breakfast together. She busied herself with filling the dishwasher and tidying the living room, anything to get out of the way and put some distance between them and that awkward encounter. She packed Jack's bag and gathered her own.

"We have to leave in five minutes Jack. Go brush your teeth. And the syrup off your face."

"Can't Daddy take me?" He pleaded looking as his dad. "Please?"

"He's not dressed and he's probably really tired from chasing bad guys and wants to go back to bed."

"I can pick you up today. Let me get some sleep and we can play all afternoon at the park."

"Ok!" With that Jack ran off down the hall leaving the two adults to avoid the elephant in the room.

Jessica moved to the door to gather coats and shoes. Aaron was pushing chunks of soggy French toast around his plate. They kept glancing at each other only to tuned away when they saw the other looking; their mouths kept forming the first part of a word only to be abandoned half way through. Neither wanted to go first.

"Thank you," he finally croaked out. "For breakfast. And for watching Jack. Three weeks must have been hard."

"Sounds like they were hard for you too."That was as close to a comment as she was going to make. Jack came around the corner ending the attempt at a conversation. Jessica helped him put on his shoes and into his coat. "Say goodbye."

"Bye Dad," Jack flung his arms around his father's middle, nearly hitting his head on the table.

"Bye buddy, I'll see you after school. Love you."

"Bye Jess, again thanks so much." He gave her a nod of acknowledgement all the while ever taking his eyes of Jack. She only offered a feeble wave in return.

In the car she chatted with Jack about what he was going to do at school and all the things he should show his Dad when he got home. It wasn't until she was alone did she think over the exchange. His face was swimming her mind. For a moment he looked so happy and content. If she didn't know any better she would say there was a hint of affection in his eyes when he first came out. It was the face after he realized she wasn't Haley that made her heart clench and her stomach turn. There was so much confusion and hurt, like she had tricked him into thinking the love of his life was back.

Wiping back the tears Jessica thought about what she needed to do. She decided to care for Jack as a way to help them heal, to remove some of the pain of Haley's loss. Being the cause of more hurt, knowing that she wasn't enough to take away his pain was unbearable. It was time to make another decision to lessen their pain. She couldn't call him Aaron anymore. At least not when he was sleep deprived and completely warn out, maybe not ever again. _Why did I ever think this would be easy?_ Because loving Jack was easy, being there for him was worth the obstacles and the double life.

Because loving Aaron was easy.


	3. Let's talk about it

"Aaron, we need to talk."She had been sitting at the kitchen table, wine in hand, since she put Jack to bed. Countless ways to start this conversation had played in her dead. This wasn't the way she wanted it to go. She meant to be gentle but the harsh tone just came flowing out as he sauntered in two hours late.

"Ok, I'm going to check on Jack first." He made to move for the hall.

"No. Now. We need to talk and if you have to talk to see Jack you're more likely to tell me what I need to know." Her face was calm but her insides were buzzing.

Aaron was perplexed. His brow furrowed and his lips pulled tight. For the first time, he couldn't read her. This couldn't be good. "Ok, what do want to talk about?"

"Sex. Well you, sleeping with women." Her calm demeanor melted away and was replaced by awkwardness. She had never been one for confrontation. And this wasn't a topic she thought she would ever discuss with her brother in law. In the year since she realized he was seeing someone Jessica had experienced a range of emotions: jealously, anger, want, disbelief. Now her anger wasn't a byproduct of him moving on from Haley but from what appeared to be disregard for his son.

"Jess. I can't tell my son goodnight because you want to talk about my sex life? I know we are family, but that's not really any of your business."

"I want to talk about how you are sneaking around your son and spending less time with him." Her anger came back.

"And what made you connect that to the possibility of women in my life?"

"I'm not a profiler but I run your house. I do your laundry, the cleaning, I run your errands. Like I'd miss the lipstick and perfume on your shirts. Or this tucked into the couch. You are lucky Jack didn't find them." Jessica tossed a red thong in a plastic bag on the table.

"I can explain," he said calmly.

"I don't want details. I'm not even mad there is a woman in your life. What I am mad about is you obviously aren't as discreet as you think you are. That Jack tells me he is going on more all weekend sleepovers all of a sudden. If you have been pawning your son off on me or other people so you can sleep around…so help me Aaron."

"The weekends away are Jack's idea. He's making more friends at school and with soccer. They have nothing to do with the person I'm seeing. And it is just one person by the way," he quirked an eyebrow at her. "It's not like I'm leaving my son at home alone at night and trolling the bars. You know me better than that. When jack is gone my heart aches for him. I fill some of that loneliness with my friend."

Jessica snorts. "I bet you fill something."

"It's not like that," he glares. "Look, I don't know where exactly this relationship I have is going. So until I can be sure she's sticking around, she's not going to be in Jack's life. I don't want him to lose another person. "

"Then you need to be more discreet or keep it in your pants." She looked down at the wine swirling in her glass to avoid the glare she knew he was giving her.

He sighed. "Look, I've never prolonged picking him up to be with her and nothing has ever happened with him home. Jack has no idea I'm seeing anyone."

"Can I ask you a question?"

"Why not?" He gave a tired smile. "You already know more than anyone else."

"This 'friend' of yours…is she the same one from before Pakistan?" Jessica didn't break eye contact as he started back at her. His brows were furrowed and his lips tight but he didn't speak. Eventually he swallowed hard and shook his head as he looked away. "Ok, so that's a yes," she chuckled. "I understand then why you didn't say anything. But can you make sure she's collects her under garments when she leaves?"

He still couldn't speak. He just grunted and nodded his head.

"And maybe hire a housekeeper. Ok, go kiss your son. I'm going to head home." Jessica rinsed her glass out and wiped the counters before she grabbed her coat. Aaron came back to lock up behind her. After exchanging good nights Jess turned in the door way. "For what it's worth I think you should give Agent Prentiss a real shot." She left him standing there with a dopey look on her face.


	4. Slipping into another skin

Jessica almost didn't want to wake them. They both had small grins on their faces and a little bubble of drool hanging off their open lips. She felt a pang in her chest. This was a rare moment when father and son got to bask in each other's comfort. It had been a hard week for them both. Jack had the flu and Aaron spent the week tracking down a pedophile targeting little boys. They had fallen asleep in each other's arms within the first twenty minutes of the superhero movie.

She gently moved Jack's feet off her lap so she could reach for the remote. With a click the room was silent expect for their deep breaths. She stared at them some more hoping a solution would appear. Jack's head rested in his father's lap with his knees now curled to his chest. Aaron had one arm protectively around his son's middle and the other dangling over the arm of the couch. His head was tipped back against the cushions.

Picking up the glasses and bowl of popcorn she silently padded to the kitchen to consider the options. She knew Jack wouldn't be bothered by a night on the couch but Aaron's back would kill him in the morning.

"What time is it?" she heard quietly from the couch.

"Time for my boys to get to bed." She replied softly. "Should we move him?"

Aaron looked down at the sandy haired boy in his lap. It had been a while since his little boy wanted to curl up next to him. At ten he wasn't so little anymore. "I think I'll let him sleep with me tonight."

"Okay, you take him and I'll clean up."

Aaron gently slid a hand under Jack's head and used his other to tilt him up against the cushions. "Ok, buddy, we're going to bed." He placed his sons little arms around his neck before grabbing him from behind the knees and around the back. "You're getting too big for this, soon you'll have to carry me to bed," he muttered into his son's head.

"Silly daddy," Jack sleepily said as he nuzzled against his father's chest.

Jessica busied herself with picking up toys and straightening blankets. She was putting the DVD away when Aaron came back out. They both moved to the kitchen loading the dishwasher and wiping counters in unison. He doubled checked the locks and the alarm when Jessica was hit with a wave of intense feeling. It wasn't quite nostalgia but that's the closest thing she could think of. It was more of a yearning for this moment to last. It was all so domestic; picking up and locking up the house together. It was like the night time routine of a normal family.

"Thank you for taking care of him this week." His voice was soft and warm; she could hear his exhaustion from the week.

"Always a pleasure." She gave him a sleepy smile.

"It's always hard to be away, even harder with that type of case. But knowing he was sick and I couldn't be there was heart wrenching. The only thing that kept me half focused was the idea that someone he loved was looking after him." He gave her a long glance. "He wanted to say good night before you leave. But I think you should just stay here. It's late; you've had a long week too."

Jessica's eyes glanced at the clock on the wall. It was only nine thirty. Definitely not late but the weariness weighing him down told not to argue tonight, "Uhh…Ok."

Silently they walked down the hallway to his bedroom. Her eyes kept darting over to read his posture. She wanted to know if he was as nervous as she was. And to make sure he didn't notice her distress. If she was honest with herself, and she rarely was on this topic, she would admit she had imagined this happening before. But with more adult intentions than tucking a little boy in to bed.

"Hey there Jack-Jack. You feel better?" She asked softly moving her hand from his forehead to rub his back. She could hear Aaron moving around in the bathroom. The feeling of domesticity washed over her again. It made her stomach flutter at how easy and natural it felt.

"You sleep with me?"Jack mumbled through closed eyes.

"No, I'm going to my room. You're dad is going to sleep with you tonight. Good night, love you." She placed a kiss on his forehead and pulled the covers up to his chin.

"Love you too."

"Thanks for tucking him in." Aaron stood in his bathroom doorway wearing plaid pajama pants and gray FBI t-shirt.

Sleepy, casual Aaron was a particular weakness for Jessica. She stifled a groan as she stood. "Of course. I left his meds and the thermometer on the nightstand in case you need them. I'm going to read for a while. Good night." She quickly left turned and walked away. Once she got to her room she leaned against the door, chest heaving. This was not the time for her feelings to come rushing back. She needed something to distract herself.

She decided to make some tea to help take the edge off. For the three minutes it took the kettle to go off she allowed herself to fantasize about this being her family and her house. She thought of lying in bed with Aaron, Jack snuggled in between. The whistle of the kettle brought her back to the kitchen. After fixing her tea she took it to the guest room, her room, and settled against the headboard with her book. It was light and silly, and the kind that Haley would have made fun of her for reading. In other words, perfect for distracting her from the things she couldn't have.


	5. White Knight

**AN: Trigger warning for domestic violence & verbal abuse**

Jessica's breath caught in her chest. Her mind was racing. _Stay calm_ , she kept telling herself. She tried to ease the tense from her shoulders and keep her voice level. Maybe if she could show him she was sorry he would calm down himself.

"How could you?" he spat wheeling back in her direction.

"It was a mistake. I should have told you before I met him in the library to study." She tucked her head down in mock innocence, keeping her eyes on Greg. "We were only working on our biology project. I'm sorry if I did anything to hurt you." It took everything she had to say those words. She just wanted him out of her house.

"You were so sorry when you did it where you? Or you would have told me right away." Greg started pacing the living room again, slamming his fist into his palm.

 _Damn_ , he was even angrier now. Jessica tried to make herself small, backing against the couch, as she cursed at her parents for being out of town.

"You're such a lying whore." He grabbed his wrists in his hands, pulling them and her, against his chest. "I never should have trusted you." He shoved her down on the couch with all the might his six foot frame could muster.

Jessica felt the air move forcibly out of her chest as she bounced off the cushions and onto the floor. She pulled her knees and hands under her in an attempt to stand. A hand on her neck wrenched her back up. She wanted to push him away and run but the chance he would do something worse frightened her.

Greg continued his tirade as Jessica fought back tears from the pinch on her neck. "I don't know what I ever saw in you, you ungrateful bitch. No one will want to touch you when they learn what a slut you are."

"N…N…nothing happened. We just worked on our project. I swear!"

"Then why were you laughing?" There was menace in his voice as he shoved her back down.

 _He was following me? How long has he been doing that?_ Her mind was racing. She needed to get him out of here as soon as she could. Greg was still yelling profanity at her when she saw his foot pull back. Just then there was a crunch of gravel from the driveway. Both of them froze as three car doors opened and closed. Jessica let out a breath. Someone was coming to save her.

As keys scraped in the lock Greg pulled her up and cranked an arm behind her back. His other arm came around her throat. He turned them to face the door. His teeth were grinding in her ear.

"You said your parents were gone this weekend," he hissed in her ear.

 _Oh thank God_. Jessica felt her body relax when she saw Haley and Aaron on the other side of the door. Haley's eyes were darting between Jessica's eyes and her arm as her mouth hung open.

"Jessica, are you ok?" Aaron asked as he gently moved Haley behind him. Jessica was a little befuddled as how calm he sounded. But after knowing him for five years she recognized the determination in the furrow of his brow. When she nodded slightly he took two slow steps them. "Greg, right? Greg how about you and I talk?"

"Don't come any closer. This is none of your business; it's between me and my cheating girlfriend." He tightened his grip on her arm and Jessica let out a groan.

"Well you are hurting her Greg and that makes it my business." Jessica could now make out the anger in his eyes.

"Why? Did she give it up to you too?" he sneered and pushed a little harder on her throat. Haley tried to make a move towards them when Aaron's arm shot out to stop her.

"No. She is my little sister Greg. You hurt her you have to deal with me." Jessica could hear Greg's breath change into jagged little huffs as his eyes gave his challenger a full appraisal. Aaron had two inches on Greg but was about thirty pounds less. "Do you want to reconsider letting her go now? You can see that I'm not your average target and I'm not backing down, Greg." As he was talking Jessica could see Aaron discreetly move Haley to his left side. "Just her go and you can walk out of here like this never happened."

Aaron gave a barely perceptible nod and ran at Greg. Jessica felt two hands shove at her back and she stumbled over her feet. Coming to her knees she landed in her sisters waiting arms. The sound of fists landing and glass breaking rang through the room. She wanted to see what was happening but Haley was half dragging, half carrying her around the corner towards the kitchen.

"Stay down!" Haley hissed. "I'm calling the police." Haley snagged the receiver off the wall and used her body to block her sister from running into the fray. She quickly relayed the situation to the dispatcher and gave their address. The sounds of the scuffle stopped. All they could hear is heavy breathing and pained moans.

"Haley, do you have duct tape? And ice?"

"Oh thank God," Haley breathed and she rummaged through a drawer. "Jessica, get some ice in a towel," she called over her shoulder as she rushed back into the living room.

Jessica placed her hands on the counter and leaned forward. After a few deep breaths she quickly did as she was told. Coming around the corner into the living room she stopped. Aaron was straddling Greg's hips while taping his hands behind his back. The TV was lying shattered on the carpet, the side table was over turned, cushions were thrown about and there was a smear of blood on the carpet. Jessica's eyes moved from one to the other.

Haley took the ice from her and placed it on Aaron's head as he moved to the chair. Jessica watched her sister fret over him, running fingers through his hair and kissing his temple.

"Did you call the police?" Haley nodded. "I'm ok, go to your sister." Seeing Jessica's eyes on Greg's body he spoke again, "He's just knocked out. It looks worse because he took the table down with him."

Haley flung her arms around Jessica, pulling her in tight. Seeing the mess and blood Jessica finally registered what had happened. She collapsed in tears on the floor. They stay wrapped around each other until the knock on the door. Aaron let the officers in just as Greg started to stir. On the periphery of her senses Jessica could hear Greg starting to shout again. She clung tighter to Haley. Aaron handled talking to the police as they documented the scene. Finally Haley started to pull away. She was saying something but Jessica couldn't make out the sounds she was making.

"You need to go outside with the EMTs. I'll go with you, don't worry. I'm not leaving you little sis." Jessica felt her sister's arms leave her and a hand pull her to her feet. She was guided outside.

"Oh," Jessica gasped as she saw Aaron sitting on the back bumper of the ambulance. He had a bandage on his forehead and the tech was checking his hands.

"He's ok Jess, just some scrapes and bruises. Let's get you looked at."

The techs took her blood pressure and checked her neck for signs of serious bruising. They said something to Haley, Jessica saw her nod and thank them.

"Are you alright Jess?" Aaron asked her, ducking his head to make eye contact. Jessica quickly looked away. She couldn't make eye contact with him. Shame was creeping over her cheeks in the form of a blush. Tears threatened to spill again. "Hey, it's ok. We're both ok."

"Thank you," she croaked out. Her throat was sore and raw. Aaron placed a hand on her shoulder and gave her a gentle squeeze.

"You need to tell the police what happened before we got here." Haley told her. "I won't let go of your hand."

Haley sat next to her at the kitchen table with a hand rubbing her back as she recounted the argument to the officers. She answered all their questions about the nature of their relationship. Had the slept together? Did he do this before? Did he ever threaten her before? The entire time Jessica never took her eyes off the table. Any time she faltered, Haley gave her hand a squeeze. She had never been more thankful for her big sister.

Or her sister's boyfriend. While they talked to the officers Aaron started cleaning up the living room. He had also called their parent's hotel to tell them what had happened.

Finally the officers had left and the three of them sat around the table. Jessica kept both hands around her mug of tea as she started at the wisps of steam rising.

"I'm so sorry I ruined your weekend home," the tears were filling her eyes again.

"It's ok, we would do anything for you," Aaron answered.

"You didn't ruin anything. We didn't have any plans but to be away from campus for a while. And now I get to spend more time with you." Haley smiled at her. "Are you hungry? We can order pizza?"

"I'm not really hungry."

"How about we order and you can eat when you feel like it? Do you maybe want to take a bath? Would that help?" Jessica could tell Haley was in full blown big sister mode, trying to distract her from what had happened. She nodded slightly.

"Ok, Aaron will order the pizza and I'll start the water for you." Haley pulled her from the chair and guided her towards the stairs. "I'll be right there."

Jessica looked back at her sister. She could hear her whisper something to Aaron before giving him a quick kiss. Seeing Jessica stuck on the fourth step, Haley once again put an arm around her sister. It made Jessica feel a wave of gratitude wash over her. Followed closely by a knot of guilt in her stomach.

Jessica hugged her legs to her as she sat on the toilet mesmerized by the bubbles forming in the tub. She looked to her sister sitting on the edge, swishing the water around. There were a jumbled of thoughts filling her head.

"How could you stand there with me and not know what was happening to him?" She asked tentatively.

"Because if I saw, I would be right there next to him. And I would only be in his way," Haley said as she shrugged. "This wouldn't be the first time Aaron has had to defend someone's honor." She the confusion on Jessica's face she continued. "It's happened to friends of ours on campus. I mean not this same situation but things like guys getting to handsy or not leaving a girl alone when she says no thanks. He can't walk away from it…" she trailed off then started again with more energy. "Aaron is going to stay here tonight. He's worried about you. So if you want I can sleep in your room. It'll be like a sleep over!"

Jessica could tell Haley was trying to sound more enthusiastic than she felt. They were all being so nice to her when she made a big mistake. She put them in danger and ruined their weekend. She was so embarrassed that someone had to come to her rescue. _I'll always be the little sister messing things up._ Tears started flowing again.

"Hey it's ok," Haley's arms were around her again.

"I didn't mean to get you two involved. You could have gotten hurt!"

There was knock on the bathroom door. "Pizza's here!"

Jessica wiped the tears from her eyes and straightened up. "I'll be alright. You should go."

"You sure?" Haley opened the door to see Aaron still standing in the hallway.

"Everything alright?" he asked quietly

"Not yet," Haley replied placing a hand on his chest as she stood in the doorway.

"Let me try." He slowly moved past Haley and crouched down to eye level with Jessica. She was still in a ball on the toilet.

"Hey, Jess. He's gone now. He won't hurt you again. And don't worry about me ok. I'll be fine. This isn't your fault. You didn't do anything to deserve that. It's his fault." He gently placed a finger under her chin to make her look at him. "Please don't blame yourself for my injuries. I'd do it again. You are my family, Jess." He stood and placed a gentle peck on the top of her head.

"Do you want a book or the radio or something?" Hayley asked. "Ok, we'll be downstairs. I know you said you weren't hungry but let me if you want to go straight to bed." Haley gave her a small smile and closed the door.

With that Jessica was alone for the first time since it happened. She quickly shed her clothes and got into the tub without looking at herself. Eyes closed tight she tried to clear her mind. She just wanted to forget about Greg and pretend this day never happened. The water blocked out the world as she slipped under.

The last four months played out in her mind. Was there something she missed? Should she have seen this coming? At first Greg was almost too good to be true. He walked her to class carrying her books and sat with her at lunch. He often drove her home from school and called often on weekends to check in. She had been so happy when he announced in the hallway that she was his girlfriend when an underclassman tried to ask her out. She thought he was proud to call her his. All she wanted was someone who wanted her back.

She wanted someone who looked at her like Aaron looked at Haley. From the beginning he adored her; he was gentle, protective and giving. They were perfect, Jessica knew that. When they fought it was because they were both trying to do something for the other. Like when Haley tried to break up with him so he could enjoy college and not worry about her. They both could be very stubborn.

Jessica shivered as the water turned cold. She rinsed then dried off dressing in pajamas Haley had gotten for her. Her stomach grumbled. She quietly made her way downstairs trying to avoid any more fuss on her behalf. She saw Haley curled on the couch with her sleeping head in Aaron's lap, a book abandoned on the floor. As she grabbed two pieces of pizza to place on a napkin she noticed the arm Aaron had protectively wrapped around Haley. Even in his sleep he was looking out for her.

She snuck back to her room wolfing down the cheese slices as she went. Leaving the lights off, she crawled into bed. Her eyes were beginning to get heavy. But her brain still wouldn't shut off. It kept wandering to the tingly spot on her scalp where his lips touched her skin. She knew after everything that happened today that should be the last thing on her mind.

She should be upset that this relationship ended or scared that he would try something again or worried about how her parents would react. Honestly she wasn't that attached to Greg as a person and she knew he was going to jail. And her parents would just be happy that she's safe now. She was more embarrassed that it happened and guilty that she got someone else hurt. And guilty that her crush on Aaron would come back at a time like now when she worked so hard to get over that.

Jessica rolled over trying to get comfortable. She let out a groan as a bruise on her hip makes itself known. Resigning to the fact that she wasn't going to fall asleep anytime soon, she flipped on the lamp. She rummaged through her nightstand for a book, something mindless. She tried to focus on the world of Sweet Valley as she settled against the pillows, hoping that the blondes would get the imagine of the dark haired man out of her mind.

 **AN: 1 - This is the longest thing I've written and I struggled for DAYS writing the last few paragraphs. It was hard to find a balance between her reaction to the attack and her crush on Aaron. Let me know what you think.**

 **2 - It's really strange referring to him as 'Aaron'.**

 **3 - I have maybe two more ideas for this but nothing on paper. If I update this it won't be for a while as I'm moving and have other things I want to write.**

 **Thanks for all the follows and reviews!  
**


	6. All I Want for Christmas is You

It was barely noon and she was ready for a nap. Aaron and Jack had her busy since seven with various activities. She knew the pair took their Christmas time together serious but she had no idea it was going to be this intense. Or involve that amount of sugar. What she was expecting was a lazy day full of Christmas movies and _some_ sugar cookies. At this point they had finished breakfast, watched two movies, completed two holiday crafts, and ate the batch of cookies Jessica and Jack made yesterday.

Even though Aaron ended up on a case the week before, Jack's excitement could not be contained. They spent each night making red and green garland to hang in the doorways and carefully wrapping presents. Before bed they read a different Christmas themed book. It was something Haley had always done with him. It was her favorite time of year and she made sure that Jack loved it too.

To say she was surprised when Aaron asked to have a Christmas together would be an understatement. It had been four years since Haley died and six since they separated. In those six years they never celebrated a Christmas together. They had maintained their normal routine of Jack and Aaron celebrating together on another day. Mostly out of convenience because who knew where Aaron was going to be or when he was coming home. It was better to save Jack the disappointment and just plan for Christmas as the Brooks' where he got to see extended family as well.

Also there was no way Roy Brooks was letting the man he blamed for his little girl's death within a hundred feet of his house.

"Aunt Jess you can't nap now! It's time for snowmen."

"I won't be able to make a snowman without some sleep," she mumbled with her eyes closed. Her head was resting on hand as the Whos sang around a tree.

"We don't nap today; we have too much to do!"

Jessica cocked an eyebrow and snuck a peek at Aaron through one eye. She was surprised that Aaron would let Jack get away without a nap of any kind. She should have known though, when he actually got time with Jack he gave that little boy whatever he wanted. Anything to make him happy.

"Let's let her rest so she can go outside with us later. Another movie or a do want to help me cut out the cookies?" Jessica had spent the day before with Jack making batch after batch of sugar cookie dough for today.

"But she has to help decorate them!"

"We can make them now then decorate when we come inside," Aaron told his son patiently. They watched Jack purse his lips to the side and think it over. It was a move Haley had done often.

"Ok," he said thoughtfully then he turned to Aunt. "Do you like the trees or the angels?"

"Trees," she said after thinking it over. "More fun to decorate."

"Cookies!" With that Jack leapt of the couch and climbed onto a stool at the counter.

With a light chuckled Aaron turned off the movie and made his way to the kitchen. Jessica could hear him patiently explaining to Jack that they needed to lay down parchment paper and wash their hands as cheerful music floated towards her. The last thing she could remember before drifting off was a blanket being pulled over her shoulders and a whiff of Aaron's soap.

* * *

"Can I open my presents now?" Jack asked as he finished his tomato soup. It, along with grilled cheese, was their customary Christmas Eve dinner. After her nap they had a light lunch, spent two hours in the park making a snowman and snow angels then decorated the cookies Jack and Aaron made earlier.

"Just the ones from me. You'll get Aunt Jessica's at Grandpa's," Aaron gently reminded him as he took the dishes to the dishwasher. "We got to clean up first, Buddy," he called after Jack ran to the living room.

"Ok, Jack. I think we are ready." Jessica called from her spot at the bottom of the tree a few minutes later after the kitchen was clean. Aaron was on the couch with a camera. "Give that one to your dad, Honey."

"Open yours first Jack," Aaron suggested once the presents were divvied up between them all.

"Wow a new Lego set!" Jack's eyes were wide as he took in the Death Star on the large box. He set it aside and immediately started ripping the wrapping off another. It was a giant art set and coloring book from Beth. Next he started on a small box. "United Tickets! Thanks Dad!" He launched himself off the floor before the last word was out of his mouth.

"You're very welcome Jack," Aaron breathed out once Jack loosened his grip on his chest a little. "Did you see that there are three? You get to take a friend."

Due to being the only grandchild on both sides and spoiling from 'Uncle Dave' and 'Miss P,' Aaron figured Jack got enough toys and tried to focus on things they could do together. He also preferred to spread presents and gifts out throughout the year. It might be slightly out of guilt due to being away most of the time but he also didn't want Christmas to be all about gifts.

"And you'll be able to come with?" Jack asked skeptically. Both adults could tell Jack was trying to tamp down his excitement.

"Yeah, Buddy. Already took the vacation time," he stifled a chuckle as Jack tackled him again. "You have a one more to open," He nodded towards the present in brown craft paper.

"Everything on It and Where the Sidewalk Ends," Jack flipped through the pages of the top book after reading the titles. "Poems?"

"Did you see the note Mom left?"

"To remind them that being yourself is a kind and radical act," he recited off a post-it stuck on the inside. Jack scrunched his lips to side like he was trying to determine what that meant. After a moment, he decided the books were ok and set them with the rest of his gifts. "Your turn!"

Jessica opened a pair of new slippers and a tin of herbal tea, fairly standard gifts from Jack. Normally she opened all her Jack gifts at her parents. It was obvious that Aaron prompted Jack to give her the presents that she could use at their house.

"New ties! I don't think I have green ones," Aaron explained as he opened his first present. Most of his ties were shades of red or blue. "Thanks Bud!"

"Beth helped," Jack smiled shyly.

Aaron smiled back at his son making a mental note to discuss his girlfriends desire to dress him. After the ties he opened the next book in the western series he was collecting and crew neck sweatshirt that said 'coach' across the front.

"I didn't know you did that," Jessica said softly as Jack went to place his new things in his room.

"Jack never mentioned he got books from his Mom each Christmas?" It wouldn't have been the first time Jack hid something from his Dad or Aunt to spare them the painful memories associated with his mother. He really was a sweet kid.

"I knew she wanted to get him books each year. I guess I never realized how many she collected. Or that she had a plan for it." She shouldn't be surprised; Haley loved books and the power of language.

"The notes are hers. I'm just guessing on the when," he shrugged in response.

"Time for hot chocolate!" Jack called running back into the room. Another tradition: scratch made hot chocolate to watch Polar Express. They always made it with extra marshmallows and stirred with candy canes to be extra festive.

"Should we talk to Mom first and tell her all about our day?" Once again Jessica was impressed by the things Aaron did for his son. Once Jack nodded, he continued. "You got get the candle and meet me by the tree."

"Aunt Jess, are going to talk to mom too?" Jack asked when he came back into the room. She raised an eyebrow at Aaron when he stopped in his tracks, lighter in hand.

"Sure, Jack," she said hesitantly after not being able to read Aaron's expression. "You go first."

She moved to the end of the couch and listened to Jack ramble about the movies, snowmen and presents for a few minutes. As he finished up, Aaron moved next to his son on the floor. Jessica felt like she was eavesdropping into a private conversation as the two told Haley how much the missed her. Aaron talked about what a great kid Jack was turning out to be and it made her chest ache.

Suddenly the candle was in her hands and two pairs of eyes were watching her expectantly. There was so much she wanted to say to her sister, things she wanted to thank her for and some she needed to apologize for. But she knew it wouldn't come out without a lot of tears.

"It's ok, you can tell her silently," Jack said softly. "She'll still hear you."

A quiet sob wracked her chest. Jessica took a deep breath trying to pull it together. A large hand gently touched her shoulder.

"Take your time," he said softly. "Come on buddy, let's make hot chocolate."

Jessica was still staring at the flame. She couldn't bare to see the sadness on their faces as they left the room. Little arms wrapped around her waist tightly. She soaked up the acceptance and unconditional love of the little boy as she tried to reconcile how losing her sister gave her the best thing in her life.

* * *

"Here," Aaron said quietly handing her a mug. "I figured you didn't want to get up." Jack had his head in her lap on the couch where he had fallen asleep about thirty minutes before.

"God!" she breathed out. "Did you put any eggnog in there?"

"It's been a long day," he smirked as he settled next to her on the couch.

"Never thought you'd get boozy with Jack around," Jessica raised an eyebrow at him.

"This coming from the woman who ambushed me with wine in hand when he was asleep," he smirked.

"I needed it for the courage," her cheeks flushed slightly at how brazen she was to try and discuss his sex life.

They sat quietly watching the lights twinkle on the tree. Jessica loved their tree. It was a hodgepodge of meaningful ornaments among colored lights. Some were made by Jack; cinnamon angels, popsicle snowflakes, and a few clear orbs with melted crayon swirled in them. Others were, what she assumed, Hotchner family heirlooms: crocheted stars, a mouse in a walnut shell, a handful of hand blown glass ones, much nicer, and prettier, than any store bought. There were also pictures of loved ones no longer with them in small charms scattered across the tree.

This is what Christmas was about to her. Tradition, family, reminding yourself about the things, and people, you love. She spent the day with two of her three favorite men. They laughed, they remembered and they simply took in the wonder of Christmas.

"Come here," he whispered as his arm came around her shoulder.

"What?" Jessica tried to suppress her twitch at his touch.

"Just come over here," he sighed in exasperation as he nudged her closer.

"Aaron, what are you doing?"

He didn't answer, just kept pulling her closer until she was snuggled against his side. They didn't touch like this; they didn't touch at all in fact. Maybe a shoulder squeezed here or an arm pat there but that was it. Her body was humming under his hand on her hip. She still couldn't figure out what the hell he was doing. Unless he had been secretly knocking back glasses of the highly potent eggnog without her knowledge, he was sober.

"Jessica, I wanted to say thank you for everything you've done this year."

"You know I would do anything for you two."

"I know this last year has been different for us. I brought someone else into our lives and it has taken Jack away from you at times. And I know it's a lot to ask you to watch him so I can go out with someone who isn't his mother or to know that she's watching him and not you. Thank you." Aaron pulled a box from the side of the couch and slid it across her knee.

Jessica took in the thin gold wrapped box and sat up a little. Her heart was beating right of her chest. They didn't do gifts for each other. Obviously they knew that the gifts from Jack were picked out by the other. But they only nudged Jack in the right direction when it came to choice of color, size or title when he couldn't remember.

"You didn't need to get me anything," she looked over to him as she pulled the lid off. "Oh Aaron!" she gasped as she saw the gold heart shaped locket. It had an intricate ivy design around the edges with a script H in the middle. Jessica vaguely recognized it as something that had belonged to Haley. If she remembered correctly, it had actually belonged to Aaron's mother and was given to Haley at their wedding.

"Open it," he gently encouraged.

Inside she found a smiling picture of Haley on one side and a newer one of Jack with Aaron on the other.

"Whatever happens, whatever women come into our lives, know that you are family, nothing will change that." There was a fierce determination in his eyes that had tears threatening to fall from Jessica's.

Jessica had experienced a lot of emotions when she realized he had started dating again. She didn't want anyone to replace Haley or to hurt Jack. There was also a part of her that was a little jealous. But as long as the Hotchners were happy then she would be happy. She never did find out what happened with Agent Prentiss but he was able to move on just fine. She didn't know much about Emily besides what little Jack mentioned and that she had the same job as Aaron. Jessica had hoped that whoever he settled with would understand his work and being able to lighten that load in a way that Haley hadn' couldn't understand the job but seemed easy going enough to limit additional stress. And she knew that Aaron would never bring Jack into the relationship if he didn't foresee her sticking around.

That didn't stop her from disliking Beth on principle of replacing her in Jack's life.

"Is it ok?" he asked tentatively when he noticed her sniffing and wiping her eyes.

"It's perfect," she whispered. "Thank you."

"Thanks for spending the day with us. I know Jack really enjoyed it." He tipped his head over to the still sleeping boy. Jack didn't make it very long past his normal bedtime and was out cold. "Since you're taking him in the morning did you want to stay? Otherwise I can drop him off early on my way to Beth's."

"After this eggnog," she indicated her half full mug resting in her lap with a small smile, "I should probably stay."

"Ok, I'm going to take him to bed then turn in. Unlike someone else, I didn't get a nap today."

Jessica just nodded and took another bracingly stiff drink. Her head was still spinning, trying to process the shift that once again happened in their relationship. It seemed like every time she found solid ground he did something to make her lose her way.

"Good night," he said quietly once he had Jack in his arms. "And Merry Christmas Jess."

"Merry Christmas Aaron."

* * *

 **AN: YAY an update! Thanks for sticking around.**

 **AN2: I have so many thoughts and feels about different aspects of this. If you're interested in the whys and character choices let me know.**


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